Dear God

There are times when I respectfully question God, I mean, I have to come clean since he knows what I’m thinking/feeling. I don’t expect an answer, but at least I feel a little lighter inside once I’ve questioned the pain, and poured my soul into the universe. We are created to love, we can’t help it. We love our parents no matter what, siblings, family members, friends, and the ones who steal our hearts, they become people we can’t live without, and yet, at some point in our lives unless we go first, we are forced to live without them. The pain of losing a loved one changes you forever. You are never truly healed from grieving. Some lose self for a period of time, or forever. Some become addicts finding ways to numb and hide from the tragic reality. Some literally learn to function/exist, but walk around empty inside. Some say they are in a better place, and still there’s moments when the sadness overcomes the faith. Breathing through knowing that you will never, ever see that person again is suffocating. God doesn’t give us nothing we can’t handle, but it scars us for life. One one side you learn not to take life/moments for granted. You even learn to be more forgiving. You work on your dreams, but it still doesn’t change the fact that loving is uncontrollable, and physically losing them doesn’t come with instructions. A therapist can try to tell you what stage of grieving you are in, and how they think you should go about it. People period will give you advise of moving on, until it is their turn to swallow such truth/reality. So, there are times when I dare to respectfully and wholeheartedly ask God why, without needing the response, just the moment of letting go of trying to be strong through the pain, and cry my heart out, explaining to God how much they are missing. Just sharing my thoughts. God Bless.