When the mind speaks without interruptions!

It has been a minute guys. When i finally felt like blogging, I physically couldn’t. I fell down a few steps and fractured my ankle, the same ankle I fractured some years ago, so you can imagine that at first I was mother fucking everything, wondering why me? I thought I needed, but I guess I wanted to go a hundred miles per hour as I am used to, in order to not think. The busier I get, the more I can avoid any meltdowns due to grieving, or anything else I had buried inside. I was bombarding my mind with the mother of all to-do-lists, meanwhile emotionally running on fumes. I took that step physically without giving my mind time to catch up, in a rush as always, and then there I was unable to move from the pain, unable to physically take any steps. The first few days I was driving myself insane, how many shows or you tube channels can one watch? Anything to not deal with me. Finally, I came to the realization that it could have been worse and so I prayed. Prayer always brings out those tears I had frozen in time, and with that also came facing my emotions alone without any interruptions. We know what we want, and God knows what we need, and so he sat me down. I had to stop stressing over things, because if I were dead, it would all be lost anyways, and at least there’s still some hope for me. I needed to rekindle not only my relationship with God, but my relationship with self. I was so lost. My heart is always in the right place, but when I don’t have a clear mind, it clouds the natural beauty and positive energy I genuinely like to spread. I can tell by the words I choose even in my journal, so today as I am giving myself time to heal, and finding healthy ways to be as independent as possible, I thank God for sitting my ass down, because he knows my heart, and what is best for me. So, if you took the time to read give your mind the chance to truly catch up with your heart, and if you are still in doubt, pray/pray/pray. God Bless.