MY FAV MESS

I could be the only one, but sometimes when I’m in my feelings about one thing (all hell breaks loose), and my soul gets overwhelmed, rambling thoughts, uncontrollable emotions, super sensitive. Those are moments in which I know I must isolate, because if someone pisses me off they may feel a raft they truly don’t deserve. In those moments I feel lost inside, and I’m questioning everything and everyone. The best thing for me to do, so I don’t go completely dark is take everything out. I save a lot of shit. I have numerous journals, pictures, old notes on some brown paper bag that I would never get rid of, because its physical proof of an important day and time for me. I create piles, and maybe its a visible metaphor for how I’m feeling inside, but I add some music to the moment, and I can spend hours in tuned with the mess. It takes me forever to re-organize everything, but as I do, I also make many decisions. For me, it is necessary at times for a reminder in my own words of how far I’ve come, and all I still dream about achieving. I cry through the process (needed tears), yet, I also feel like a teenager laughing at the past, because within the mess, are the most memorable moments in my life. Are you following me? Do you think this is weird? God Bless.