Acceptance

This is not easy on any level, even when it’s said, are you truly there, or are you faking it til you make it while trying to dig yourself out of the emotional hole? Some days I feel like I have arrived to that place inside where you try and make peace with whatever has been so hard to swallow, and then, some days the anger creeps up on me, causing isolation and hours/days of uncontrollable tears. Thank God I know God & the power of prayer, and I eventually surrender my pain, but in the midst of it (it burns). Those days when only a whisper comes out, so I can feel like I am saying aloud “I was not ready”, but when are we truly completely ready for unexpected change/disappointments/let downs/heart break/betrayals/grief etc. The truth is guys, as I tear up while typing with my candle & music on (I miss my father) and I don’t even celebrate holidays, but these holidays are not going to be easy, because he loved them. Anyhow, if you’re out there reading (know) that whatever it is you may be struggling to accept (be patient with self), and DO NOT ALLOW anyone try to speed up your process, however, God will see us through. God Bless ( I love you papi).